More Reflections

I don't expect anyone to read this. Well, I'm not sure if yall know, but I am a pretty energetic guy. I am one of those outgoing kids who meets everyone, cracks borderline inappropriate jokes in an attempt at cleverness, is quite animated, silly, crazy, and is quite eccentric. So, pretty much, I'm the clown. Honestly, I think this persona is something I took up in some crazy attempt to meet more people, make things more fun for others, and make others laugh, and maybe try and loosen up a bit. But some people don't realize, this is not due to my temperament. I scored 50% for the introvert/extrovert on the myers-briggs temperament evaluation. I am quite outgoing, and do enjoy meeting people, but I'm not sure if being around other people energizes me. I get tired, I do get burnt out and alone time from time to time feels good. Also, I think I'm getting some pretty big disrespect from some people in fellowship (or maybe this is my insecurities talking) because all they think I am is a joke. I mean, I like being insane and crazy and stuff, but the way I really get to know people better is by talking to them one-on-one or in small settings. When I can walk away saying, "wow, I got to know that person better" is when I feel encouraged, energized about things. But anyways, this brings me to wonder...is all I am just a joke? Or is it just me. If I start acting differently, how will it be perceived? Is acting outgoing and talkative considered more immature, and is acting mature being reserved in speech and action? Could I be a better influence on others if I didn't act like this? Would it be better for me just to stop garnering attention the way I do when I act? I'm not sure about a lot of things. I guess I gotta check myself up and pray about it sometime.